Money matters is not only sensitive to the husband and wife, but also complicated. How to avoid conflict due to a prolonged affair this one?
Sensitive issue. The issue of money is the most sensitive issue and one of the forerunner to the classic fights. According to William Betcher, MD, who along Robie Macauley wrote the book The Seven Basic quarrels of Marriage,. the therapists were reluctant to address the issue in the consultation sessions with clients.
Even in 1913, Sigmund Freud, the lord psychiatrist, once wrote that talks about the same money tabunya to talk about sex. Therefore, it is not surprising that most wives are reluctant to discuss these issues openly with her husband.
In fact, Betcher estimated that as many as a quarter to a third of the problems of domestic life comes from financial problems.
Complete with. But, of course, there is no problem that can not be resolved. Bhkan also issue money., Here are some ways you can try to prevent the problem of money in order not to develop into a prolonged conflict between husband and wife.
Trying to open another. Try to open in discussing finances with your partner. Discuss together what the anxiety of each in relation to money. Try not to make unilateral judgment before, and listen to what is being said partner carefully.
Respecting individual privacy. While talking about money should be open, but try to keep the couple will appreciate the need privacy. Appreciate couples desire to save some money for personal needs and hobbies, for example. Give your husband a chance to occasionally buy a Compact Disc or favorite cigars every month, as long as it is determined as a course. You also of course still want to continue gathering at the mall hottest in your city with your friends instead? Do not hesitate to communicate these wishes to your husband ..
Defining a common goal. What is important in a conversation about money is what the main priorities to be accomplished in the family. For example, if the family prioritize children’s education, they begin to estimate how much money is needed for education so years into the future, and how much money should be set aside from the start this time. Understanding is to clarify and simplify the family finances.
Find the value of money for the couple. Try to understand your partner to find the meaning of money for him. Money can be a symbol of needs and expectations that are often not revealed, but the potential to create conflict. American psychiatrist, Ruth Ann Turkel, said that in order to understand the value of money for someone can be seen in the background of his life.
Feel what a partner. Sometimes it is also necessary at times couples exchanging roles. For example, if your regular household shopping needs, once in a while let your partner are shopping. Who knew he really did not know the price of a box of disposable diapers, or the price of a can of milk, for example. In this way he is increasingly understood that the prices of basic commodities are getting higher, in addition to troublesome find parking outside the supermarket or hypermarket. .
Fair in sharing. If you and your spouse both work, make payment of the household division fairly. For example, you pay school fees, salaries maid and pay the phone bill. While your spouse pay the mortgage, the monthly expenditure and electricity bills.
Ask the expert. Now a lot of financial experts that provides services to help manage the family finances. An expert would have to see the financial problems in families with a more objective manner. If you feel the need, why not use their services if financial problems in the family seemed more complicated? Of course you should strive to find a good family financial expert and trustworthy.